sum, sum, summer time!

A few favorite snaps of a couple of my favorite people!

Questioning faith already?

It's no secret that our girls are two very different people.   

Andi was just saying today how very, very different they are, 

from their interests to the way they fall ill from a cold.  

Mimi is a carbon copy of me.  

I hate to say it, but she is a complainer when she is ill, bossy when she plays, 

and tenacious when she knows she is right!  

Marlo, on the other hand, like Andi, is calm and wheezy when she is sick,

 a rule-follower when she plays, 

and always willing to see the other side of things in life.

Marlo has always been interested in how things work mechanically;

 she can put together a puzzle in no time flat 

and she has been coloring in the lines since she was 3.  

She is methodical about things and you can't really shake her concentration.

 In the past, at Temple, I have noticed how Marlo has buy-in.  

She has always tried to sing along, sit next to the Rabbi for stories, 

and pays close attention.

Mimi, in contrast, has no time for puzzles,

 thinks that the lines of drawings are purely optional, 

and flits around from one activity to another, 

casting her own flare to what ever she tries.  

(by flare I mean she usually ends up breaking things)  

Temple for her is more about coloring and Challah.

This is why her questions left me stunned and stuttering.

Lately Mimi has been asking how things are "made".  

"AMia mommy, how is a flower, pie, sky, wood, tree, fire, stars and so on, made?"

The questions have been flying as we are driving, 

getting ready for bed, when we are relaxing and reading books, 

and all other random times.   

At first I thought that these were a way to stall brushing teeth and going to bed, 

but they keep coming, 

each one more involved than the other. 

 I am always trying to come up with answers that will satisfy her; 

sometimes I come up short and sometimes she moves on to the task at hand.  

I am never sure if she is really listening or if she really wants to know the answers.

The other day Mimi says "aMia mommy, what's God?"  

This was followed by a longish silence because, 

well, she's not supposed to ask me this at 4. 

I mean, really, how was I gonna answer this?  

I ran thru all the answers I have been given over the years and only one stood out,

 bold face print in my mind; 

it was something I had discussed with my friend and Rabbi, Wendi. 

CONNECTIVITY! 

How do I put it in kid speak?!?!?!?! 

thinkthinkthinkthink...

Well, Mimi, no one really what God is.

  (cop-out).

Still panicking a little,

 because for me this was not a question I could bullshit and move on with the day. 

 In some small or huge way this might just be one of the moments that help shape her spiritual life.  

NO PRESSURE AT ALL RIGHT!?!

I took a deep breath and started to speak,

"So, Mimi you know the feeling you get when you see mommy when she picks you up from school, 

or the feeling you get when you see a butterfly, or find a rolypoly?  

Mimi: "yeah", not impressed.

Me: "or how you feel when you say I love you, or see how pretty the clouds look?  

Mimi, are you listening?"

Mimi: "yes"

Me: feeling a little annoyed and sad that she was not buying what I was selling, 

 "well, Rooney (as i call her sometimes) that is what I think God is, 

but like I said before, no one really knows?"

There was a little bit of quiet on her part and panic on mine and then...

Mimi: " if nobody knows, then why he so important anyway?

REALLY!?

As if the last one was so easy to answer, she follows it up with this?  

Is my preschooler having her own existential crisis? 

Me: "well, Mimi, I think if we did not have God we might not have love,

 or be able to appreciate all the beauty in this world, 

or feel happy.  

Maybe the world without God/love would just be... 

well I can't even imagine what it would be like.  

Anyway, God is important because we need love, 

everything needs love.  

That is why we say the Shema every night, 

and thank God for all the nice things in the world.

Mimi: "huh"

That was it! Nothing more, nothing less, just huh?

We just celebrated Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur by going to temple and being with our good friends.  Yesterday at the Tot service, as I was holding Mimi while we stood for the Shema, 

I became certain that what I said to her weeks ago had stayed with her. 

 I watched Mimi as she closed her eyes and sang the Shema loud and with pride. 

At that moment my eyes filled with tearful emotion because 

in that moment, in that second,

 I knew that we were both feeling God together. 

We declared our love/faith together!

For this moment I am thankful, for this moment I am blessed.

What a way to start the new year!

These 3

Like to live dangerously!

If this is a window into the teen years

 Julie, Andi and I are in for some heavy drinking!

God help us!

A funny thing happened...

...on the way to finding our perfect home.

 guess just like with people,

you have to  kiss a lot of frogs

(or stuffed and mounted deer in this case)

If you could have a "favorite" part,

for me, it was the curtains! 

now, I'm no realtor,

but I do  think the house would show better

 sans deer.

Needless to say,

we did not make an offer!

Miralax please!

I never really thought that living at my parents would leave me 

creatively constipated. 

I thought, "this will be great, I will have so much more time to do things and write"

catch up on my blog, read books, plan parties...

This not being the case, my girls will look back on the third year of this 

blog/ baby book/ memoir/whatever this place becomes over the years 

and see, 

well,

NOTHING!

(more like, not much, but you know me, i have a flair for the dramatic)

What the heck happened during the this year?

The first year we lived without the family of people we created in Seattle

The year that I moved back home, 

family in tow, with the hope of creating a home for us here in Chicago

The year I watched my girls form powerful, unbreakable bonds 

with my mom and dad and sister!

The year when a quick visit to Mema's was not a wish but a reality.

The year my girls met the people who formed my teen years 

and watched me grow into a woman, adult

 (well, sort of adult)  

and now mother.

They year the girls met who will be 

(if we have anything to do with it) 

their life long friends, 

the ones who will play a huge part of who and what they become.

The year we found our religious home and made more fantastic friends.

The year that seems to have moved too fast 

and yet remained somewhat stagnant.

We just celebrated Rosh Hashanah

 we did it in our own way, 

in our own home

 with just a handful of the people who mean the most to us.  

We wanted to keep it intimate and thru this chaotic intimacy 

our home found 

life!

I know that this is not the new year for most folks who read this.

(I wonder who is sill out there in the inter-webs, anyway?)

But this is my new year,

My fresh start.

L'Shanah Tovah